Until now, Eric will be the first to admit he's always been tempted to write his name on the back of a really dirty van (??????), it's been quite a long felt want for quite a long time .......
.... but as an honest, law abiding citizen with unsullied school run duties, he's always refrained for fear of finding himself in a prison cell, with only bread and water rations and the abject shame of us having to visit him in such insalubrious surroundings.
However, yesterday fate seemed to present him with almost perfect conditions to make that "want" come true, a filthy van, parked just up the road from us, out in the open, without being overlooked, the nearest ring doorbell or CCTV being at least a hundred yards away ....
....... soooooo, looking in every directions, finger trembling, he only went for it, however it didn't feel as exciting, or give him the buzzing thrill he'd thought it might ...... BUT he'd DONE it!
However, he's now vowed never ever to do it again. He says he's not cut out for nefarious, opportunistic actions of an indulgent graffiti type nature. Rubbing it out, after the fact, would have simply made it worse, with even more finger prints to be had. What if anyone had seen him and worst still, what if Tom the Scientist had to send one of his forensic teams out to investigate. The poor fella was riddled with shame when he got back home. We've done our best to calm his fears, but I can promise you, long felt want or no, he'll NEVER put his name to anything every again! What on earth is he like?
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