A MESSAGE FROM MUM ......... HEARTBREAKING NEWS

I have some terrible, heart breaking news .......  I have lost Nigel.

I am heartbroken.  We went to Southport for a whistle stop, 24 hours trip to see a show.  On Friday he had a wonderful day mooching and on Saturday morning we were all set to take in a few more sights, when he must have fallen out of my bag as I got out my camera. I was distracted and didn't notice. I feel sick just thinking about it.

We frantically retraced all our steps from the morning and recalled each and every one of my actions, realising that I hadn't taken Nigel out of my bag at all until I wanted to take a particular picture, only to find he wasn't there. We whittled it down to the area as above, however despite looking over and over again, leaving contact numbers in shops etc. eventually we had to come home.  I was distraught.

I've put posts on every single relevant Southport Facebook page I could find, the gutting thing is that two people had seen him in the morning, near where I thought he'd been dropped. I think someone had picked him up from the pavement and put him on a bin to be "safe", but sadly we didn't see him. Somehow, knowing that he had been seen hurts even more, because I know he was/is there ..... somewhere.  The people of Southport have been so kind, some were out on Saturday, including the evening looking and asking and again yesterday, but it seems he's since moved from where he was last seen.  I  am afraid I have to resign myself to the fact that he's gone, but as he loved Southport so much I am sure his adventures will continue ....... he's struck up on his own and the world is his lobster.

But, how do I handle it from here blogwise?  I simply cannot put Monkey, Darrell and Alice through the agony and emotion of losing him.  I have posts featuring Nigel scheduled up until mid April, I know it will hurt to see them ...... but there again, Nigel wouldn't want it any other way.

I just don't think I could write a post where Nigel goes off to Southport but then never returns, leaving the others to face a future without him, as it would be so out of character, as they are all very much all for one and one for all!  I know it's only a story, but after 13 year odd years, I am so invested in all of them. I know them inside and out and this would break them, as it has done me. 

It's hard to come to terms with it at the moment, .... but if I could bear it, could I  simply insert a new Nigel when the time comes and carry on as normal? What do you think? It would be a Bobby Ewing dream type scenario, with a slightly different looking Nigel, who wakes up one morning as usual with everyone carrying on as normal, without ceremony or fuss? I guess I need put my big girl pants on and get blogging with him as quickly as possible to "bond", it'll never be the same ....... and if it doesn't work I'll know the answer ........

I have felt for the past year or so that the blog has to end at sometime and had discussed this with Jan the Fan when we finally met last year. Before this happened I was sort of planning to keep going until New Year 2025. It's a lot of work when I have not been without at least one monkey on any one day for years ......... should I see the loss of Nigel as being a signal for that end?  How would that very last post go? With a bang when the fireworks are let off at midnight, with beloved followers pre-warned that that's it?  At the moment I am conflicted.

I'm surprised this really hasn't happened before now, Nigel has been lost a few times as he's so small, but he's always been found within a few hours or in one case the following day having tea in the staff workroom of a large shop in Wolverhampton. 

I renewed my appeals on Facebook again yesterday and to thank all those who have responded, but as the light faded on another day, I've not had the message I'd prayed for.  If he is found at a later date, the people might not have seen the posts  or recognise him as someone special and much wanted........

Perhaps I am being way too melodramatic, it seems such a silly thing over a toy ....... that's what I keep on telling myself, but then I think of Nigel and all the love there was for him, unless, I really, really, really hope, someone has found him and taken him home, because it is obvious from his clothing and age that he's more than a toy and I'd be alright with that. 

I know I can't do anything more now, what's happened has happened, but not helped by the thought that I wasn't originally taking him away with me, but grabbed him at the last minute, sadly, what's done is done ..........

If I do hear anything, trust me you'll be the first to know.

Stay safe and brave Nigel, your indomitable spirit will carry you through whatever adventures lie ahead,  embrace life, as always, in your own inimitable style.